Have you ever met someone you instantly liked? They may not have been the best looking, most talented, independently wealthy or the child of someone famous, but they were unmistakably attractive. There was just something about the person that made you want to know them better, to spend more time with them, be a part of their inner circle.
Chances are that everyone else liked them right away too. You, and others, were drawn to this individual by the force of his or her personality, but you didn't really think about why. You never unpacked the mechanics of what makes them so likable.
Travis Bradberry, entrepreneur, talent consultant and co-author of the best-selling book Emotional Intelligence, says that people who are "irresistible" share similar traits and habits.
- They have an unforced self-confidence that isn't built on external attributes such material possessions or educational pedigree. They are truly comfortable in their own skin and it shows. They have an inner glow that comes naturally. They don't feel the need to compete with anyone and are truly happy for the accomplishments of others.
- They have a natural curiosity that makes them enjoy life and find the world entertaining and interesting. They approach everything with a sense of passion that is infectious and compelling. It's easy to get caught up with them on a wave of enthusiasm and see things in a way you hadn't considered before.
- They see others as interesting and valuable and are just as polite to those who are serving dinner as they are to those who are paying for dinner. Respect for others isn't predicated on what benefit they can get from another, but seeing everyone as deserving the same degree of courtesy. There's no false humility, just a healthy attitude of caring.
- Their charm is authentic and they genuinely find you interesting. They listen attentively and don't try to interrupt or offer unsolicited advice. They let you talk about your concerns and feel no need to "one-up" you with their own stories. They recognize that every situation doesn't have to circle back to them.
- They make honesty their standard, even when it costs them. They keep their commitments, keep their word and keep a confidence. They own their mistakes and face the consequences with integrity without complaining or making excuses.
- They are guided by positivity and don't let past setbacks or failures define them or hold them back. They encourage those around them to seek the best and see the best. They allow others to be themselves and accept the differences among people to be a source of learning rather than a reason to argue. They understand that reasonable people can come to differing conclusions with the same information.
If you are interested in learning more about this and related topics, visit the Self-Improvement section of our blog.
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