We all know people who are self-centered or selfish. "Nancy's such a narcissist, she always has to have her own way." She may be a little bossy, but her redeeming qualities of loyalty and generosity keep her in your circle of friends. Although Nancy may be a little selfish, she probably isn't a narcissist.
Recognized as a diagnosable disorder, narcissism is self-centered on steroids. A true narcissist is a toxic person in the lives of others. In any relationship: romantic, familial or social, the narcissist will sabotage it, leaving everyone other than him unhappy.
There is no reasoning with them; they will convolute every situation to suit their own purposes. You can twist yourself into a pretzel to please them, but you will end up disappointed, frustrated, angry, and blaming yourself. They can be "energy vampires". They have an endless need for admiration and praise. They reject any criticism as unfair. They don't play fair. They understand what fair is; they just don't care.
They will derail your productivity in every situation: social, emotional, professional; and they will sabotage happiness. In the workplace, the narcissist is poison to office dynamics.
- He will manipulate every situation to his own advantage. He will claim to be your friend if it advances him. He will make deals and promises, and then renege once he gets his way.
- If achieving his own ends comes at the expense of someone else, he has no remorse, because he has no empathy.
- In a position of authority, he is a dictator. If your boss is a narcissist, you are in a lose, lose situation. He is exempt from rules that apply to everyone else.
- He will blame others for his mistakes and steal the credit for a job well done.
- He justifies his bad behavior because the most important thing is what HE wants. He will bleed you dry in every way possible.
What can you do?
- Get out if you can. There is no fix for what is wrong with him and there is nothing you can do to change the situation so you simply need to remove yourself from the drama. With the emotional depth of a great white shark, your boss is 2,000 pounds of pure ego; he will devour you and move on to the next victim.
- Fake it til you make it. If you are unable to leave your job, the best advice is to play along to get along. You are not dealing with a rational individual. Learn to game his system. It might make you nauseated, but it will buy time until you can make your exit.
- Know the signs. Once you know the signs and what to avoid in dealing with narcissists, you can pursue happiness in healthy ways. Cultivate friendships with kind and honest people. Employment is trickier; you don't always have the luxury of vetting who you work for. But sage advice is; "Surround yourself with people who are good to you. And be good to them."
Lastly, be good to yourself by contacting us to see what positions may be available in the healthcare field!
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